Now before we move on in this conspiracy, I need to point out that I am NOT a nudist. In fact, I am probably the complete opposite of a nudist (I wear a t-shirt & jeans to bed just in case I need to wake up and get out of the house quickly). However, new information has come to my attention about the DANGERS of remaining fully clothed.

We all know that ALIENS have a tendency to be a little mischievous, to say the least. They like to kidnap people, mutilate cows, making cool crop circles - you know, the usual random stuff. But apparently some aliens take time to TARGET INDIVIDUALS for their repeated taunts.

Scientists suspect that the exact CENTER of the UNIVERSE is in El Centro, California, USA.