Most of us grew up watching DISNEY films and cartoons and they were the greatest. But there was one thing I never really noticed until now: not one of the Disney characters was ever MARRIED.

One of my sources pointed out to me today that long time beloved muppet character KERMIT THE FROG was actually created as a representative of those COMMUNISTS who lived in democratic countries.

Over the past 4-5 years the US economy has some how become cosmically linked to BRITNEY SPEARS. Let me explain: The US economy has become stuck in this POLAR OPPOSITE position to Brit (as I like to call her). When she’s up, the economy is down. Then when she’s down, the economy is up. Then when she’s up again, well you get it…

According to one of my mostly reliable sources, the famous rap group from the late 80’s to early 90’s, N.W.A. (often referred to as ‘Niggaz With Attitude’), is now believed to be part of the NWO (New World Order). This comes with the revelation that the initials NWA originally stood for NEW WORLD ARTISTS. Coincidence? Me thinks not.

There are many theories out there as to why we’re in this economic downturn (soon to be depression, in this conspiracists opinion). Theories ranging from the stock market, to swap bonds, to the cost of toothpaste. However the real reason is TOM CRUISE.